Category Archives: loneliness

Two lives

So far, I’ve been inclined to consider my physical life real and my online activity supplementary.

As a matter of fact, the term ‘Second life’ may very well be real. At the moment, I’m travelling and taking pains to get online to continue my presence there seamlessly. That is pretty real… The fact that I get responses from online friends contributes greatly to my well-being. There is a sense of connectedness, that I’m not alone, even though at the moment, I may not have a soul to talk to except my dogs.

The beauty about my online presence is that presenting my personality is much more manageable. Naturally, when we rub shoulders with people, most of what transmits is non-verbal. When we connect online most of what transmits is media-driven. But handling this media is highly creative and brings out aspects of me, that would otherwise be washed under in the daily grind.

This creativity has a real effect on my everyday life.  

Take it to the cellular level

If I were asked to give one single advice to posterity, I’d say: STRETCH.

My life has changed by keeping two 15 minute sessions a day of stretching every and any muscle I can think of. The well-being that flows through a stretched body is better than sex. I was talented at sex and had my share. But this is better.

In fact, I’ve come to think that rather than going down the psychosomatic lane, that is our soul affects the health of our body, why not just inverse the whole deal? Since our minds are sooo creative, it stands to reason that for every little physical ailment, it creates a mental equivalent, sort of like explanations for a certain feeling in a way that makes sense.

SuperStock_1886-5181I may feel restricted, stifled, assaulted, apprehended, bound, withdrawn, feeble, unloved, neglected, and a whole slew of other things that I lack the nerve to list now. Obviously the mind picks scenarios from my environment to explain those feelings. We are so good at looking everywhere but inside. But then how come, when I stretch, all those scenarios don’t feel valid any longer? When on a cellular level, my body doesn’t get the scope of expansion it is capable of, why make up misery? Why not just STRETCH?

Can you get your nose to your knees? Well, that’s the scope of stretching in the average toddler body. No wonder we all are nostalgic about how things used to be better when we were young…

Irma’s Ten Top Tips for Loneliness

No man is an island, but sometimes there are times when we feel like it. Here are my favorite tips for handling such times:


Especially after exercising, don’t neglect to stretch. Negative emotions cramp up different parts of the body leading to restricted breathing and movement. The net is full of good advice. A good stretching session makes you feel like you had the most wonderful night’s ….. sleep.


There is something about bringing focus to the voice box that lightens the soul. If you’re not a singer, try the numerous karaoke clips on Youtube.


Take tender care of yourself by bringing your thoughts to paper. It’s a way of harnessing the most sublime human process in your favour. Try a diary or a blog.

Put up a few cuddle toys

Humans are wired to recognise faces. Seeing faces around you is extremely comforting. There is a soothing side effect to caring and cuddling. Your subconscious won’t mind to be tricked.

Include nature

When you’re in nature, things (most of all you yourself) fall into perspective. Take a walk and don’t come back inside until your soul swings with the rhythm of nature.

Manual work

Worries and fear can be released by using our hands. Create, craft, manufacture and feel the satisfaction. Make it a game to use your resources at home to avoid a store bought solution.

Establish order

Clear thinking is achieved on a light-hearted frequency. Messy environments or unclear schedules cloud the soul. The same goes for personal habits. Taking care of your surroundings and yourself serves as a balance to compulsive worries and obsessive thoughts.

Cut out sugar

Sugar is highly addictive and accounts for mood swings. Replace sweets with fresh and dried fruit. Dates are my favourite. I’m not joking. Lonely days are days for ZERO sucrose. Also experiment whether wheat and/or milk affect you.

Light candles

Fire is a natural booster. A flame represents life itself and is a mirror of yourself. Do a fire meditation, by sitting in front of a candle enjoying the gentle warm light.

Take mental snap shots of happy moments

In a happy and relaxed moment, direct your thoughts through all the parts of your body and remember the feeling. You will be able to recall these later.


A wee word of wisdom: there may be number of reasons why you are lonely. But believe you me, it’s not a disease, it’s a valid form of human existence. To maintain dignity in a lonely situation you might have to do some mental support work. These tips won’t work for you, if deep down you think that you are just tricking yourself.

What do we look for in relationships anyway? In my opinion we try to recreate our true state of being one with everything. Feeling separate is a delusion, truly, we are never alone although we might feel that way. The first human endeavor is to create convincing evidence of being embraced by the universe. But tell me which is better:

believing that we are lonely and frantically looking for proof that we aren’t


believing that we are one with everything and lonely feelings are a product of being stuck in a limited point of view?

In either case, solutions are found on another frequency. Try any trick that snaps you there.

“ego” is Latin for “I suffer”


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